A Wedding With No Kanyadaan Ceremony- Would You Do It ?

Kanyadaan ceremony

A Wedding With No Kanyadaan Ceremony!

Would You Do It ?

A Wedding With No Kanyadaan Ceremony- Would You Do It ?

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I was attending marriage of my cousin, following each and every rituals. Then there was Kanyadaan ritual  in which my uncle  gave his daughter/my cousin to the groom. And suddenly I felt like  the wedding is a trade/market. Parents have  bought her up for approx 25 years to suddenly transfer ‘ownership’ of their daughter  to another man?

And then I realized …oh , I am also donated long back to my husband.  I gave awkward  look to my husband. He asked what  happened?

I said .. How  Cruel, Brutal, Savage, Inhuman You. You accepted a human as donation!

He :No, Never, I did it ????

Related image

 

Exactly This is the point ! there are many rituals which we are following blindly  without knowing the concept behind it.

Kanyadaan is one of them!

A Wedding With No Kanyadaan Ceremony- Would You Do It ?


 

Related imageimage  Kanyadaan Ceremony

The ritual of Kanya Daan is considered very auspicious in Hindu religion. It is a very pious and dutiful ritual which is said to bring fortune as well as relief from the sins for the bride’s parents. Kanyadaan means when the father hands over all his rights and duties towards his daughter to her prospective groom. This way the father gives her daughter as a gift to the groom. As per tradition, groom is considered a form of Lord Vishnu. Thus, presenting him gifts is deemed as the greatest honor for the parents of the bride. 

kanyadaan concept
kanyadaan

But don’t you think Kanyadaan is redundant, obsolete,irrelevant    tradition. There is  definitely no need for anyobe to  donate any person to anybody else, be it the daughter, the son or any relation.

The ritual of kanyadaan is understandable and acceptable  in that context since back in the day, an old father needed a boy to take care of his daughter. There is also belief considering the groom being God and the ceremony, a means of salvation for the parents. Even that is understandable to an extent. An unmarried girl was basically unprotected, and the duty of the father was to ensure her safety and security  for life. So, not getting her married was considered a sin.

But, Is that context relevant these days? NO, these days  girl are capable  in every sphere of life .

So the question is about the ability of the younger generation to recheck our rituals and then accept or discard them.

Acceptance is easy, Nothing needs to be done..

You need to take a stand to change something !You need to go against the society. The question basically is that ‘ yet to marry’ generation ever give this a thought? or do they have a fear of  Divine Retribution for changing something so old?

Yesterday, an article that I came across on social media made me believe that there are few who can initiate to change.  The first priestess of West Bengal, Prof. Nandini Bhowmik solemnised several marriages without ‘Kanyadaan’ as she felt it was completely atavistic and nothing less than objectification of woman. And, how true is that?

So, Is  our modern, independent  English speaking, educated , pub going youth not aware? or just not bothered?

As a Girl  may be with fairly conservative  relatives and very progressive , open minded parents, Do you  wish to be disowned by your family in any way, even through kanyadaan.

Another problem with Kanyadaan is that it is only the father who is  allowed to give away the aughter. If the father is absent, another male  relative has the honour. The mother is not in the picture at all. If  not the tradition itself, even the steps associated with the ritual are  chauvinist.

A girl is not property to be donated, for God’s sake! You have right to remain as much a daughter to of your  parents after marriage as you are now.

Be the change you want to be ..millions are waiting for one to initiate the change !

 

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